Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Life Is Too Short

Life is too short to worry about dirty clothes, grubby fingers and dirt on my back porch. Life is too short to keep yelling at my kids to stay out of the biggest pot in my backyard. I needed to change a rule that was set in place, and learn to let go. This wasn't a hill I was willing to die on. It was time to ease up and live a little. So to embrace letting go and learning to loosening up we went to GoodWill and bought spoons and containers to play in the dirt.

Life really is so short, and a childhood should be full of playful discovery and imagination. Childhood should always be carefully held together with love and carefully decided boundaries, but most of all they should be allowed to be children free from the challenges and cares of adulthood, that time will come soon enough. So I'm learning to loosen up, care less about unimportant things, plant my herbs out of the reach of little fingers, and most of all embrace my children's brilliant imaginations.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Favorite Granola Recipe of All Times

In this recipe I substitute the maple syrup for molasses. I love dark molasses and brown sugar goodness. The dry ingredients are whatever I am feeling like at the time. Flax is something I throw in for a healthy smokey crunch.

The wet ingredients I mix together in a seperate container and then place in the microwave for 30 seconds to better melt and mix before pouring it over the dry ingredients. This recipe is heaven in a bowl with coffee in the morning.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/granola-recipe/index.html

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Speak It

Another great article from Michele's blog-

http://michelephoenix.com/2011/05/speak-it/

The Lies Mk's Believe

Just found a new blog and it has some tremendous articles. It can be something that can really help those who come into contact with children of missionaries, it can help those going to the field with children, and it can help missionary kids understand themselves better and behaviors they have. There are 5 posted here and I believe more are blogged about but are scattered. Check it out-

http://michelephoenix.com/mk-tck-resources/videos-articles-novels/


Friday, May 20, 2011

All God's Children

I am very serious about the subject of child abuse. This is not something I have a morbid fascination with or are flippant about. Most of the time the child abuse you hear about is physical and sexual. Children can also be emotional abuse and spiritually raped. Some of which I've experienced myself. I believe that this is all part of Satan's way of destroying the tender, loving, trusting spirit of a child to where they are incapable of trusting or believing in God, their great Father. It is one of the greatest tragedies the world knows.

Growing up we were incapable of coming to the aid of our friends who were being degraded, but now I'm an adult and I have a voice and I choose to use it. Each and every one of us have a voice and you must learn to use it when you see something happen that you believe to be an injustice. I love the quote:

"All that is necessary for the the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

I've seen a lot of good men do nothing in my lifetime and it's been people I called family. It's been my "aunts and uncles" of our mission.

So I stand with my friends who have suffered unimaginable pain and shame. I acknowledge their pain. I create awareness and hope to help break the taboo of hiding abuse and not talking about it. All of you out there are WORTH FIGHTING for. So I stand with you, and am honored to do so. You are great fighters and are hero's in my book.

If you care to watch this movie, it took place in Guinea, in a little boarding school called Mamou. It happened even before I was born. It happened to a different mission. But the abuse is very similar to what we experienced at Fanda Missionary Boarding school. All the way down to the way the brave missionary kids had to fight to be heard. I sat in horror and silence too numb to cry because so much of it was my "normal." This movie comes in 10 parts. You will find the next part at the bottom below the movie.

I can't get the link to work so I'm going to have to just give you all the links to copy and paste. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Part 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3KMa8sVGqY&feature=channel_video_title

Part 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xH8c5H_7bW8&feature=watch_response

Part 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvfI7gSC0X4&feature=watch_response

Part 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxpj9QYdRTU&feature=watch_response

Part 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvDJGx8M5ko&feature=watch_response

Part 6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fiI_pkbBlc&feature=watch_response

Part 7 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE_jLUBwLP8&feature=watch_response

Part 8 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujeG09t8hZI&feature=watch_response

Part 9 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU0log7yId4&feature=watch_response

Part 10 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1K4SYMYq8w&feature=watch_response

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Beautiful Offering by Angela Thomas chapter 9 pgs. 121-123

This is such a great book. I would highly recommend it. It's the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes in simple applicable terms. Instead of this nebulous thing out there floating around. I personally have to read something more sometimes to help me be able apply scripture directly to my working life, because that's what scripture is for, to be directly applied to your life so you can flourish like a plant in the light of the sun. Angela calls the Beatitudes the "When You Are's" instead of the list of "Gotta-Be's" Here's a snippet of the great teaching I've been sitting under this week with her. Hope you enjoy.

Jesus turned a corner in His sermon when He transitioned from the When You Are blessings into the As You Go instructions. We are now coming into the specific characteristics that make our lives a beautiful offering to Him. He is speaking to the common people, the “multitudes” who have just been given blessing in the kingdom. Jesus said that these are the ones to whom God gives light and salt. No one has to qualify to be salt and light except that they have divine fellowship with God by faith in Jesus.

When Jesus spoke, the crowds heard about an upside-down world being set right side up. The Pharisees had misrepresented God, and now Jesus had come to set things right. He told us that His followers have markings different from what they have seen or heard. Other people should be able to tell when a follower of Jesus is in the room. In this turning of His sermon, Jesus begins with these words to you and me:

You are the salt of the earth. (Matthew 5:13)

If we are acting like salt then we will affect the world positively in His name. You may have heard some of this before, but it’s worth repeating. Let’s run through a few of the qualities of salt:

Salt preserves and purifies. Jesus sends us into a world of people whose souls will decay without Him. We are supposed to take the life-purifying message of salvation to them. Salt does not purify or preserve inside the shaker, but only after it has been rubbed into the food. In the same way, in order for our salt to be effective, you and I will have to be rubbed into a dying world, interacting, loving, and becoming right along with them. It’s a little scary, especially if we have become the church ladies who live inside the church bubble. But the more excited I get about Jesus, the more I want to be rubbed into the world for His glory.

Salt provides flavor. The application for the Christian is to bring out the God--flavors of this world. Are you looking for the hand of God woven through our days? Do you remind others of His presence, His work among us, and His calling toward Christlikeness? Do others see the person of God because they share a life experience with you.

Salt makes you thirsty. Do you make anyone thirsty for Jesus? That is so convicting for me. Do people want more of God because of what they have seen and heard in me? Do you remember John 7:37?

If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.

Our responsibility (as salt) is to make men and women thirsty (for God) because of our lives and then point them to Jesus Christ. His responsibility is to satisfy the thirst.

Salt is a common substance. I am so grateful that Jesus did not say, “You are the gold of the earth,” because I’d never think I was ready. But Jesus likens us to the stuff they give you for free in little packs at the fast-food restaurant. I love that. He uses the weak, the foolish, and the despised. Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians,
“God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. (1:27-29)

I am just a single mom with four kids. A minute ago, I ran downstairs to make a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for AnnaGrace that she wanted cut into four triangles. After I finished with these words I need to rake the yard because I let the grass get to high before I mowed last night. I fly by the seat of my pants sometimes. I oversleep some days and I reach for something chocolate when I’m sad. It’s just me, a common woman with a common life. Do you feel common and plain and extremely ordinary? Then Jesus is talking to me and you. We are the ones He has ordained to be salt on this earth. We get to rock this world in His name. God uses small things and small people like us. We cannot let our common lives keep us from this holy calling.

Wounded Healer

I’m realizing more and more how to put a name to my feelings. I’m seeing how much I've seen NTM as a family, a protective parent of sorts. It feels so much like a parent/child relationship where they were supposed to love, support and protect its children and they didn’t. They hurt,abused and let me/us down. The “parent”, the organization that looked from all outside sources to be nurturing and caring were a very different organization when they went “home” at night and wasn’t on their best behavior. That’s when I/we got hurt. The most damaging I think was that it all happened under the label of Christ. I’d have a little more compassion if they hadn't vowed themselves to be messengers of Christ. The very bearers of Christ’s message.

I guess in a great sense my eyes have been opened and now the true healing can begin. My great question is how do you even begin to forgive an organization specially when there is such a mix of remorse and defiance mixed together. It’s like an awful marriage where both parents stay together but have conflicting convictions.

It’s so ironic that both my family and the “umbrella parent” I grew up with carry some/many of the same characteristics. This doesn’t make me bitter, it makes me very sad. It makes me want to rise up and do it differently. It makes me want to create a better outcome, a better solution for my children, their future and the future of the church. It’s my responsibility to be a Christ bearer, a reflection of Christ.

I mourn though. I mourn for what I deserved as a child and didn’t get. I mourn for what a poor reflection Christ was given, and how people perceive Christ now because they were warped, manipulated and scarred.

But somehow in the mourning I’m thankful for the deep valleys because I would be nothing I am today without the wind, the waves and the pain driving me to God, the one that never for a second left me or let me down. There is a chance to redeem the past and use the knowledge collected to help and love others. I’ve been learning a lot about brokenness this year. We truly are ALL broken. Broken vessels in the hand of God. Those who know and believe they are broken beyond their own ability to fix themselves are in the perfect place Christ wants them to be. We are in a place of being able to see Christ as our greatest healer. It brings us to a place of being able to take the things we are learning and help others to see Christ.

Which brings us to a phrase that was music to my ears when I heard it, “Wounded Healer.” I have been broken, and I hope my heart continues to be broken before Christ for the things that are right and proper. I want Christ to use my life, my simple offering maybe to bring healing to others. It’s a humble request, born out of a heart on fire for Christ. I want to be used by God to be a Wounded Healer.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist (chapter Your Story Must Be Told)

This is something I posted on FB a few months back, but felt compelled to post it again here because it seems to be the perfect challenge. Shauna put into words what my heart feels. Her book was something I savored like a piece of dark chocolate. Rolling it around and mulling over it for a while. Her challenge to be real and tell your story and make the gospel come alive is just so exciting. Just read this again, and again and roll it around in your brain like a dark piece, or milk piece of chocolate, savoring it and then go, go tell your story. Change the norm, changer the world through one life at a time. Your life matters, your story matters, and if you are courageous enough you will touch peoples lives and you will reflect Christ.

“I’m less and less interested in the ruminations of a scholar and more and more compelled by stories with grit and texture and blood and guts and humanity. I’m compelled by stories from everyday people whose stories sound a lot more like mine than the stories of superstars and high achievers. I’m compelled by stories that are ugly at the beginning and then oddly beautiful, stories from around the world, stories that laugh in the faces of gender and racial and socioeconomic boundaries.

I’m not interested in talking heads discussing war and poverty from behind a desk or from behind a pulpit. I want someone to look me in the eye and tell me they’re scared, too, sometimes, about the mess we’ve made around the world and the violence both around us and within us. And then I want that person to invite me down on my knees right next to them, shoulders brushing, listening to one another breathing in and breathing out.

The biggest, most beautiful story in the world deserves better than to be told by the same voices over and over again. I think it’s time for each of us to do what we can to speak the extraordinary story of God into life in our own ways, whoever we are – not defined by degree, gender, race, format.

The big story really is actually being told through our little stories, and by sharing our lives, not just our sermons, we’re telling God’s story in as reverent and divine ways as it has ever been told. God’s story was told in Hebrew and Greek, and I believe that it’s also being told in whispers and paintings and blogs and around dinner tables all over the world.

When I worked at a church a few years ago, it was my job to help people tell their stories on Sunday mornings at our gatherings. And a funny thing happened. When we were at the coffee shop, when it was just me and them and their story, their story came out in fits and starts, unvarnished and raw. We cried and laughed and every time I was amazed at what God had done in this person’s life.

And then almost every time, when they arrived on Sunday, they looked a little less like themselves. They were kind of distant, polished, fancy versions of themselves, and more remarkably, when they walked up on the stage, they sounded a lot less like themselves. They stopped believing that their story was enough, and they started saying all the phrases and quoting all the verses we’ve all heard a thousand times, turning them from sacred songs into platitudes and clichés. They did it because we as a community have trained them and have been trained ourselves to believe that a story isn’t enough.

I could not disagree more. Let’s resist the temptation to hide behind theology the way a bad professor hides behind theorems and formulas. We dilute the beauty of the gospel story when we divorce it from our lives, our worlds, the words and images that God is writing right now on our souls.

And let’s stop acting as if religious professionals are the only ones who have a right and a responsibility to tell God’s story. If you are a person of faith, it is your responsibility to tell God’s story, in every way you can, every form, every medium, and every moment. Tell the stories of love and redemption and forgiveness every time you experience them. Tell the stories of reconciliation and surprise and new life everywhere you find them.

In one of my favorite Tyler James songs, he says “My life’s not a story about me. And your life’s not a story about you. My life is a story about who God is and what he does in a human heart. My story is about the people on my street, the things I read, the way we raise our children, the things I’ve done and the things that have been done to me. A story is never about one person. It has a full cast of characters, connected by blood or love or jealousy.

There’s nothing small or inconsequential about our stories. There is, in fact, nothing bigger. And when we tell the truth about our lives – the broken parts, the secret parts, the beautiful parts – then the gospel comes to life, and an actual story about redemption, instead of abstraction and theory and things you learn in Sunday school.

If I could ask you to do just one thing, it’s this: consider that your own silence may be a part of the problem. If you’ve been sitting quietly, year after year, hoping that someone will finally start speaking a language that makes sense to you, may I suggest that you are that person? If you’ve been longing to hear a new language for faith, one that rises and falls like a song, may I suggest that you start singing? If you want your community to be marked by radical honesty, by risky, terrifying, ultimately redemptive truth-telling, you must start telling your truth first.

I’ve spent my life surrounded by deeply gifted pastors, great leaders, and brilliant preachers. I understand the temptation to simply let them continue telling God’s story. I settled myself into the back row, certain that a girl like me had nothing to contribute, and that everything in the world that needed to be said was being said by people like them – extremely talented, polished people who never seemed scared, who know the systems and the forms and the formulas like the back of their hands.

But there is one thing that those pastors and preachers and leaders cannot do, one thing they can never do. They cannot tell my story. Only I can tell my story. And only you can tell your story.

This is what I want you to do: tell your story. Don’t allow the story of God, the sacred, transforming story of what God does in a human heart to become flat and lifeless. If we choose silence, if we allow the gospel to be told only on Sundays, only in sanctuaries, only by approved and educated professionals, that life-changing story will lose its ability to change lives.

It always goes back to the beginning, no matter how far we’ve wandered off course. When Christ walked among us, he entrusted the gospel to plain old regular people who were absolutely not religious professionals. If you have been transformed by the grace of God, then you have within you all you need to write your manifesto, your poem, your song, your battle cry, your love letter to a beautiful and broken world.

Your story must be told.”

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Committed Life

This is a quote I found probably nearing 8 years ago that I hid away in one of my quote books. It came to mind as I was working in my yard today in thinking about standing strong on our values, beliefs and convictions. Thought you might find this challenging as I have. It's quite a commitment.

" These words of commitment were tacked on the wall of a young African pastor in Zimbabwe. They are a great challenge to my own life and ministry. I trust they will be the same to you.

I'm part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have Holy Spirit power. They dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I'm a disciple of His. I won't look back, let up, slow down, back away or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, sigh-walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tame visions, worldly talking, cheap giving and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded or rewarded. I now love by faith, lean on His presence, walk by patience, am uplifted by prayer and labor by power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way rough, my companions few, my Guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, let up, until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up, preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must go until He comes, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He stops me and when He comes for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me, my banner will be clear."

Precious Blessings

When did my little babies turn into little girls? I think it was sometime in the night when they slept that they changed into beautiful little butterflies. I look at them and just marvel at the beauty in each of them. So different and yet so special. Katelyn my little ladybug and Emily my little butterfly. When I gave birth to my second child I really worried that I might love one more than another, but I see now that is impossible. Each is loved in the same measure, but each are so different so that loves is translated differently.

Some days I look at my children and wonder where they came from. I question whether they really are mine. Yes, I know that's crazy talk. I went through the labor and the pain of having them, but it all seems so surreal, to be the mommy of 2 precious little blessings.

Some days I don't feel so warm and fuzzy toward them. We get tired, frustrated and have little patience, but at the end of the day when I check on them one last time to see if they are covered up and warm I remember why I love them so deeply. When their eyes are closed, their little eyelashes laying across their little cherub cheeks as the quiet little sighs pierce the darkness I smile and pray that one day they will find a man to love them without measure and walk with them as they walk with God.

I love my little butterflies even when they are squirmy little caterpillars (or as Katelyn calls them paterpillers.)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Sexual Abuse Lawsuit Against NTM

Please believe me when I say my mission in life is not to bad mouth or hinder the work of God that has been done by the mission New Tribes Mission, but I believe it is right and my responsibility to share truth when it comes my way. As you all know this is a subject that is at the forfront of my heart. Protection of those who can't protect themselves. God's work is protecting, training and loving children, the least of these. How can we preach to a lost and dying world when we aren't willing to protect our own offspring? How can an organization whose vision is to reach the ends of the earth really have a God centered message when they have allowed and continue to allow and cover up abuse upon abuse? As we have seen certain truths have only come to light when children, now adults have blown a whistle while others have courageously come forward, and trust me when I say that they are heroes in my book, to tell their stories. It hasn't been those who are NTM personnel who have spoken openly about these issues. It's the wounded, scared, shamed, and down trodden who have come forward with their stories.

Time and time again I hear the same story that the missionary, (guys lets just call them what they are the pedophile) willingly and quickly resigns before there is any talk of termination. Termination that should have been swift and fiery. Then it seems out of sight, out of mind. No further actions were taken, weak if any investigation. No police contacted or if so feeble attempts made. No concern to alert anyone of the danger of a predator living in their neighborhood. It was a forgive and forget policy, certainly not Biblical. All throughout the Bible forgiveness is highlighted but with that comes consequences. Sin always has consequences, earthly consequences, and then judgment day consequences.

How many more people were wounded and broken because no action was taken? How many who have been wounded have never received the love and support they needed to heal? In the legalistic environment we were all raised in they received judgment, alienation, condemnation, and lastly abandonment. I'm not talking of something I heard of, I'm talking about something I saw all throughout my childhood. All of this because the abuse victims were acting out in the only way they knew how after being preyed upon. The fabric of their lives being forever torn.

But you know I guess it makes it alright when you are out preaching the gospel to the ends of the earth. That should even out the bad that has been allowed, right? NO!! God sees it all and it breaks His heart. It breaks His heart to see children wounded. Wasn't it Jesus Himself that rebuked the disciples for trying to keep the children from Him? The disciples hadn't even touched a hair on the children's heads. What will become of those who have abused and raped children? There will be judgment on their heads and judgment for anyone who knew and did nothing, who stood in the way of and allowed the innocence of children to be stolen.

This is why I fight, this is why my heart is broken over and over again, and this is why I will ALWAYS use my voice to speak up for those who have no voice, and for those who have received everything they did not deserve.

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke

http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/crime/os-new-tribes-sex-abuse-lawsuit-20110509,0,6094881.story

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Key To A Happy Marriage

When Chris and I got married I was under the illusion that birds were going to sing, heaven's light was going to shine on us unless it was raining and we were going to share everything. Unbeknownst to me it didn't. One of the very first signs of this was what I will call "Flip-top or Screw-Top."

Chris is an individual of order and is rather interested in time efficancy. Myself, when it comes to certain things I've very orderly and time efficient, other things I could care less. For us our differences were magnified when we started brushing our teeth together. Our disagreement grew when I forgot to put the top back on securely and neatly and Chris found tooth past oozing out, or the lid barely on. So we resorted to buying separate tooth pastes. In the first few months of our new marriage I was devastated that we were already growing apart ie. remember my misconception. I really thought this was going to be the slow crumble to our relationship. I forgot to mention though I was totally neurotic and deeply depressed at that time so that may have made things a little more serious than they really were. We now quietly and happily brush our teeth together using our own toothpaste. :) This link reminded me of that time in my life and made me really laugh. Thought I'd share it with you. Just a little part of making a compromise and growing in our relationship.

http://thepioneerwoman.com/homeandgarden/2010/10/the-wrinkled-tube-is-mine/

Pot of Gold

My friend recommended a new website to me today as we sat talking over coffee. Just wanted to share it will ya'll. This is an awesome website with a capitol A. Having new recipes to page through is like a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow for me. Possibilities, tastebuds waiting to get to work, and wines sitting in a dark basement waiting to be chosen to pair and accent the dishes at hand. Check it out-

http://thepioneerwoman.com/

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Hosanna- Hillsong United

[Verse 1]


I see the King of glory


Coming on the clouds with fire


The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes


I see His love and mercy


Washing over all our sin


The people sing, the people sing


[Chorus]


Hosanna, hosanna


Hosanna in the highest (x2)


[Verse 2]


I see a generation


Rising up to take the place


With selfless faith, with selfless faith


I see a near revival


Stirring as we pray and seek


We're on our knees, we're on our knees


[Chorus]


[Bridge]


Heal my heart and make it clean


Open up my eyes to the things unseen


Show me how to love like you have loved me


Break my heart for what breaks Yours


Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause


As I walk from earth into eternity


This is one of my favorite songs. This song for me is a prayer. This song leaves a longing inside of me. Every time I sing this song I get this feeling of change, something happening bursting out of my heart. This is a song where I close my eyes and raise my hands.


Yes, there you go I said it. I raise my hands. For all of those that didn't know me in high school I was part of a group who made fun of "wall washers" as we so unkindly put it. I was unkind in my judgment, and immature in my ways. I hope some maturity has come with age. Today I do raise my hands and it's something that is hard for me, because I get self-conscious, but raising my hands in praise is something between me and God. My unabashed awe, praise, and worship for my Savior my King.


What is a way that you all out in full worship praise God for His glory and majesty? You know a little secret, it can be in a great big forest, on the side of the ocean, making art, serving those in need, or simply on your knees before God. We are all created with amazing passions in life and God wants us to USE them to WORSHIP Him. He didn't create us to tuck those gifts away when we come to church and quietly sit in a pew, to sing, pray, and learn in a very vanilla way. Loving and worshiping God is about using our 5 senses. It's about being alive and excited.

Conscious Decisions

Doing the opposite of what you feel so many times is acting on that Christ like nature inside of you. It's putting to death the old nature and grasping hold of the new nature.

"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin-- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." Romans 6:6-7

This morning was slow going and another refining moment in my mommy life. It took Katelyn 30 minute to put on one sock. We both had a big stinky attitude to work with. Hers was because she's 3 and her "I cant's and I wont's" are life altering emotions. My stink was because my patience and my eardrums were being tested to their limits. For some reason God in his humor keeps reminding me "In all things be thankful." So OK Lord I'm thankful for children with healthy vocal cords, I'm thankful for socks to put on my children's feet, I'm thankful I'm strong enough to lay down healthy boundaries for my children, and I'm thankful for the trials that give me a choice to come to you, or step back into the darkness.

I had a thought about about 20 minutes into the challenge. My church offers child care Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My thought process:

A. I can take my girls over there and plop them in the care of another for a few hours.
B. I can put my trouble maker in nursery and spend the time snuggling with the quiet child for a few hours.
C. I can put Emily in child care and spend some quality time with Katelyn.

My flesh picked A and B, my heart told me to pick C. I wanted to put Katelyn in nursery, slap a big Tinkerbell Band aid on our stinky attitude problem and sit in the cafe drink coffee and read. But I knew that big Tinkerbell Band aid wasn't going to fix my little girls need, it was going to cover it up.

So we went to church, Emily went into nursery and Katelyn and I had hot chocolate, played and threw pebbles in the pond. We sat in the sun, talked and visited a very special person in Katelyn's life, her grandma who works at church. I know Katelyn doesn't know what really went on this morning in my heart, but I hope that she knows that she is loved no matter what, she is special, and although disobedience is not acceptable her cry for attention was heard. I will be the first one to say that I don't always interpret her cries properly, and I'm prone to react out of selfishness and frustration, but I pray that God will continue to speak through our moments through out the day so I can make choices to follow him, making conscious decisions to be molded into His image.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Bruschetta

This recipe makes a great meal if you make it big. It's fun, simple and refreshing. Specially with a white wine or riesling. This is a summer time favorite for us when we eat on the back porch in the evenings.

http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/bruschetta_with_tomato_and_basil/

Monday, May 2, 2011

Thankful For Freedom

This morning after hearing the news from the President Obama about Osama being dead I sit in reflection and thankfulness. I'm so thankful to live in a country who still lives under the heading of "One Nation Under God." I'm thankful that although our nation doesn't always live like that we were still founded on a foundation of God and His Word. I'm thankful for all of the men, woman, and yes children who have sacrificed so that the rest of us might live in freedom. I say children, because children have sacrificed their mommy's and daddy's to the fight for our freedom. In some cases sacrificed even to the extent of losing the ones they hold most dear in life.

I'm thankful to just be born into a nation where they respect your rights. I'm thankful that I'm not imprisoned for worshipping openly. I understand that Christian rights aren't always respected equally with others beliefs, but I'm thankful that I'm not dragged out of my house in the middle of the night and have to watch as my children are murdered and dismembered and my husband tortured because we worship God. I'm thankful my children have the opportunities to education, medical care, and clean water. I'm thankful that my children aren't subjected to swollen belly's and parasites because they are starving. I'm thankful that I was born in the US instead of places like the Congo where rape is a weapon of war and most women have been ravaged.

I'm thankful. Thankful for being born a US citizen. I'm not sure if that was random or God ordained. I'm just thankful. Sometimes I sit and wonder though if I had been born into a country roughed with poverty, violence and limited freedom would my faith be stronger. Would I have more opportunities to be stripped of self and distractions and be able to see God more clearly. What really is a blessing and what is a curse.

Today though I sit and am thankful for the freedom I have been given. Thankful for so many peoples sacrifice.