Can I be honest with you all. Being a mommy is the best job and some days the hardest job on earth. I have in my small hands the responsibility to mold and shape the worlds next generation. That statement alone would send me running for my migraine meds and living in fear if it weren't for God's faithful leadership and empowering.
Right now I have a 2 year old learning what boundaries are, and a 3 year old who has had a year to learn boundaries. My 3 year old is now cutting her teeth on "how far is to far?" I'm learning what it means to be consistent, and how far I'm willing to allow my children to stray or learn from natural consequences before I need to step in and correct. It's tough. I don't want to be a Nazi mom, but I don't want to be a completely permissive mom either.
So each day we wake up to a brand new challenge. Some days I fail miserably. I yell, I threaten, and I get hot and lose my temper. There are times when I should sent myself to the naughty chair for a time out. I am so thankful though for God's great big GRACE. It's not a grace that is permissive, allowing me to do whatever I want, when I want, but it is there to allow me a new start when I screw up.
It's tough getting down on my knees, eye to eye with my 3 year old at times saying "I'm sorry, mommy was wrong can you please forgive. Mommy should not of yelled at you?" It's tough wrestling with my own demons and not wanting to repeat how I was treated in certain ways through out my own childhood. I certainly don't want to slide to the opposite end of the spectrum and have no boundaries and consequences for fear of repeating history. My girls deserve loving boundaries so they can grow up balanced and confident children.
Yesterday was a do over day. Yesterday, I was pushed to my limits. My girls tested all of their limits and I over reacted out of stress. I wasn't the mommy they deserved. As I sat on the floor all spent I looked up at my fridge and my eyes rested on a picture of praying hands with the verse "In everything give thanks." I closed my eyes and started listing off all the things I am blessed in. I have a beautiful house, loving husband, healthy children, I'm well, there are so many Godly individuals to call for encouragement and wisdom, so many many things to be encouraged by. God brought to my mind that he wouldn't let anything to great for me to handle into my life. His desire is for His children to be refined, and to reflect His glory.
So I'm thankful that I have a MIGHTY God to walk with me as I am refined through my 2 small children.
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