Conscious Decisions

Doing the opposite of what you feel so many times is acting on that Christ like nature inside of you. It's putting to death the old nature and grasping hold of the new nature.

"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin-- because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." Romans 6:6-7

This morning was slow going and another refining moment in my mommy life. It took Katelyn 30 minute to put on one sock. We both had a big stinky attitude to work with. Hers was because she's 3 and her "I cant's and I wont's" are life altering emotions. My stink was because my patience and my eardrums were being tested to their limits. For some reason God in his humor keeps reminding me "In all things be thankful." So OK Lord I'm thankful for children with healthy vocal cords, I'm thankful for socks to put on my children's feet, I'm thankful I'm strong enough to lay down healthy boundaries for my children, and I'm thankful for the trials that give me a choice to come to you, or step back into the darkness.

I had a thought about about 20 minutes into the challenge. My church offers child care Tuesdays and Wednesdays. My thought process:

A. I can take my girls over there and plop them in the care of another for a few hours.
B. I can put my trouble maker in nursery and spend the time snuggling with the quiet child for a few hours.
C. I can put Emily in child care and spend some quality time with Katelyn.

My flesh picked A and B, my heart told me to pick C. I wanted to put Katelyn in nursery, slap a big Tinkerbell Band aid on our stinky attitude problem and sit in the cafe drink coffee and read. But I knew that big Tinkerbell Band aid wasn't going to fix my little girls need, it was going to cover it up.

So we went to church, Emily went into nursery and Katelyn and I had hot chocolate, played and threw pebbles in the pond. We sat in the sun, talked and visited a very special person in Katelyn's life, her grandma who works at church. I know Katelyn doesn't know what really went on this morning in my heart, but I hope that she knows that she is loved no matter what, she is special, and although disobedience is not acceptable her cry for attention was heard. I will be the first one to say that I don't always interpret her cries properly, and I'm prone to react out of selfishness and frustration, but I pray that God will continue to speak through our moments through out the day so I can make choices to follow him, making conscious decisions to be molded into His image.