Boundaries- Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Chapter on Ten Laws of Boundaries page 90-91
Law #3: Law of Power part b.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

"In other words, God, clarify my boundaries! You can work on submitting yourself to the process and working with God to change you. You cannot change anything else: not the weather, the past, the economy -- and especially not other people. You cannot change others. More people suffer from trying to change others than from any other sickness. And it is impossible.

What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on you. Change your ways of dealing with them; they may be motivated to change if their old ways no longer work.

Another dynamic that happens when you let go of others is that you begin to get healthy , and they may notice and envy your health. They may want some of what you have.

One more thing. You need the wisdom to know what is you and what is not you. Pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what you have the power to change and what you do not."

The very first quote primarily used in AA meetings has become a quote that has been epic in my life this year. I actually have a figurine sitting on my end table with the very quote on it to reminding me to "let go and live."

For years I've been bound by not being able to accept painful things that were allowed into my life, and feeling a consuming need to change emotionally unhealthy people in my life. It left me bound, frustrated and failing. I self appointed myself to change people, not God appointed. When I fell on these words it was like someone opened a window and the sun burst in. I realized that I was powerless to make others change, (nor did I have the right) but I did have power to change myself, and whether they changed or not in the process I was always going to win because I was changing for the better. That statement right there gave me such passion and uncontrollable excitement. When I read this I was essentially given permission to release them. I was released from a job I thought was mine and given permission to stop putting my life on hold.